大敵

"以後的學者很少有這種精神，可能是中國科學不發達的一個原因。

善於發問後，才能尋找到自己志趣所在，才能夠擇善而固執之。

很多同學開始時讀書讀得很好，以後就灰心了，不求上進，一方面是基礎沒

有打好，又不敢重新再學，一方面是跟師友之間的關係沒有搞好，言不及義

，得不到精神上的支持。有些則名利熏心，不求上進。我有些學生畢業時很

踏實，受到表揚，就以為自己了不起，事實上學問還沒有成熟就凋謝了。這

都是因為氣質和志趣沒有培養好的緣故。"

每一句話，都是針對我

直指本心

決定了，下學期不修法文了

我決定要擺脫看似忙錄，但平庸的生活

儘一切地使自已的心靈受到充實

還是看SGA學法文比較快

兩面人

僅管同學問我，我只是虛偽地裝弱

但我的心裡仍舊想做些不同凡響的事情

一出手，就要和別人不一樣

願我能長久地保有這份自豪

流水

靜靜地，不被大眾之聲混淆

不因群眾鼓動而躁進，不因群眾沉默而冷卻

不停止自已的思想，

相信自已的身體，讓身體指引出心中的方向

不刻意擺出守勢或攻勢，

就像那流水一樣，

柔軟卻直指生命的希望

背影

今天我突然驚覺，我看到的一切人事物，全部都是我心中的反映。喜歡什麼人，害怕什麼人，都是因為我看到自已內心有趣/脆弱的一面，很想藉由別人的微笑，成就對我自身的肯定。

但為什麼我連自已的背影都不敢正視呢? 看似溫良恭儉讓，我是不是也打著什麼壞主意?

也鼓起勇氣承認自已是個笨蛋，再鼓起勇氣一步一步往上爬吧

---

我很喜歡Gurjar，第一次帶他去買東西時他說他想要買點東西給他太太和他兒子，想要買錶但我帶他去的店都太貴，最後是他自已跑來跑去逛到的…都已經是個院士了，還願意分時間和我聊天。

Dragon也是，我根本就不算是他的學生，他還是很願意和我談天。YP也是，就像個朋友一樣。瞿敬立老師也是，能包容我問的蠢問題，告訴我該往那走。

他們都是有名的數學家，個性大不相同，但都提醒我，就算再怎麼忙，也要真誠地對待每個人。

書單

抱著砍掉重練的心情，這個月要做的事情還真不少

1. class field theory:

    Milne's notes http://www.jmilne.org/math/

    Serre: Local fields

    Artin/Tate: Class field theory

    Reference: Basic number theory (http://www.addebook.com/tech/mathematics/basic-number-theory_5123.html)

2. p-adic Hodge theory

    http://www.claymath.org/programs/summer_school/2009/

3. Iwasawa theory

    http://www.math.washington.edu/~greenber/research.html

    最少要把最基本的文章run一次

檢視

黑狗和白狗在獨木橋相遇，誰也不讓誰。

下星期三就回台灣了，難得有忙裡偷閒的時間，把該想的事情都想了一下。

先說和數學不大有關的好了。我住在一個不大適於學習的環境，樓上整天放搖滾音樂，我的室友之一有一陣子情緒不穩，那時聽他講了很多傷心的故事，也想過要做些什麼，但後來發現他的人生就是一種反覆，得志時高高興興整天吹著口哨，過一陣子心情又不好，又開始喝酒…當看見這些我視為人間醜態的醜態時，有時也會想想我自己想要過什麼樣的生活…有一天我會不會數學算到一半就暴斃了…這好像不是什麼理想的生活方式。在緊湊的步伐中，很難去發現我的青春其實也慢慢在消逝，有得有失…只是每次想到另一種人生的可能，都會惋惜一下。

和數學想關的結論也是一樣，我處在一個不大適於學習的環境…在這兒做log geometry的就只有我的老師，YP說當年他也只跟他的老師討論而已，想想也是有道理，這不應該拿來做進度不快的理由。從整天在躲Wiesie，到現在漸漸敢和老師討論…我想我還是有點進步，只是離真正有想法，做出東西還有一大段路要走。

我想下學期我一定要找個更安靜的環境，然後…少用些電腦，多聽點歌，多看點小說吧。很難想像我的朋友們大多已是社會人，特別是在自已的大學生活有點遺憾時…看著自已下巴上的青春痘，嗯，我的青春還沒有離我而去…

為什麼我到現在還沒睡

因為Wieslawa寄了一封信和我說，我明天要報告‧‧‧‧

剛剛去收信箱，他又回我說明天取消，because I'm not sure you're ready

我其實也不知道該說些什麼，溝通上好像有些問題，但又感到很無力，因為就算我熬夜，報告還是趕不出來…

我到底為什麼來到這兒?

Why Japan can win the WBC twice

At 3/22 a Japan baseball team broke American baseball fans' heart- Japan beats American in the semifinal and beats Korea in the final- Japan won WBC championship again. I think most people will agree MLB is the highest level league in the world, but they failed twice. Today I want to discuss this- first I will discuss the weakness of American team and second I will talk about why Japan can win the game.

Let me first discuss two different style of these two teams. American's baseball is powerful, and the hitter always full wing- even it's two strike zero ball. That's the different point when we look at Japan baseball team- they never full swing after two strike, and just contact the ball; besides, Japan focuses on the speed; almost all the players in Japan team can steal base. Of course many players in American team can steal, but not so many. Besides, there're many left hander hitter in Japan baseball team, it's the advantage since left hander hitter stand closer to first base and so they can combine this advantage with their speed; the infielder will under the pressure since evenif they get the ball maybe the hitter has arrived the first base.

Second, compared with American baseball, Japan baseball team is more displined. Every people knows what he shall do, not only want to get a double, home run; in many case they just want to get walk, and have all the base, give the pitcher much pressure; they will even use one out to get one run.

It looks just two different style of baseball, but it really matters in WBC. Let me mention the situation : it's the time before the season so professional players may not in their best condition and it's win or go home game- one game will determine if you are in or out. If players feel good, that's fine, they can still hit the ball out of the wall; but in many case they are not; hitters are still adjusting and the speed of the ball pithcers throw are less than that in the season. So we can see Japanse baseball style, which we can say " smallball" , is more suitable to win this game. As I said before, they don't want to hit a home run , but they will definitely get runs they shall have.

Maybe I shall mention one more point: Japan wants to win the game. I mean, of course every teams want to win the game, but baseball is the most popular game in Japan, they have a strong motivation to win the game.

Some good news is maybe next WBC game will hold at he time of World series; maybe at that time we can see who is the best baseball team in the world.

暫存

It is hard to give a precise answer.  Beyond class field theory (in its cohomological/idelic form) and classical modular forms and modular curves, familiarity with Galois cohomology (such as Tate local/global duality -- see chapter II of Serre's book) and basic Galois deformation theory (as in the article of Mazur) will be assumed for the course of Kisin/Tiloouine, as will some basic Iwasawa theory (such as the elementary nonsense with Lambda-modules, etc., as in the book of Washington or perhaps the survey article by Greenberg) in the course of Skinner/Bellaiche, and for my course with Brinon on p-adic Hodge theory some preparatory notes will be posted by early March and it will be assumed that everyone has learned the basic concepts developed there.   Oh, and the adelic viewpoint on automorphic forms is sure to come up, and schemes and their cohomology will come up in an essential way is pretty much every course and 4th-week minicourse. But it's likely that many participants will have strong background for some courses and weaker background for others. In any event, the application process will probably be quite stiff, as I am expecting that the combination of the topics and the location will lead to a flood of applications.  One good thing is that the main courses (and hopefully the mini-courses) will have written-up lecture notes, so people who are not able to attend should find those to be useful once they are completed (probably within a year after the summer school ends, but hopefully earlier).

Note there is also a Park City program this summer on the arithmetic of L-functions, and that will have fewer prerequisites (in case the above seems like too much to you).  Regards, Brian 
----
感謝孫大帥，讓我知道自已的愚蠢

待讀

Arithmetic Geometry: abelian variety from arithmetic viewpoint, Neron-Tate height?

Finite flat group scheme by John Tate

A first course in modular form( first part) + Shimura's book

Etale cohomology- not related to P-adic Hodge theory, but just for itself.

'In any case you'll know abelian variety more or less this semester, if you read this, you'll have strong foundation"

"Maybe we shall discuss some material before you go to Hawaii."

之前某種程度是一直在躲他，總想說現在這種程度其實是沒法和老師談數學的。但最近發覺自已讀書讀得太盲目了，就下定決心去找他，把心裡的話都說出來。

結論是我的判斷是正確的，這種程度的確是不能做數學，不過其實老師也沒那麼難溝通，把話說出來心裡頭也好受多了。要怎麼讀書讀書自己的想法而不是像背書一樣，要學得地方還很多。

Paul算是對我影響很深的另一人，雖然他是做交換代數，但他每次總能講到我能聽懂，每次我都會想，為什麼他能做到，我不能做到。

大膽地正面對決，和老師說要報告，結果現在什麼都看不懂，不過終於有進入軌道的感覺了。

Schedule

5/6日回台

5/19-22 在台北(于靖老師真的很厲害，請來的人就算不是最好，也是相當活躍的人)

6/14-7/11 在Hawaii參加summer school; 終於可以看到傳說中的Brian Conrad 和Skinner;就去被電一下再看看接下來怎麼走吧。還會碰到藍凱文，謝銘倫不知道會不會來。

7/12 Utah，老爸好像有點失望，因為待在台灣的時間很短…不過今年的我也只能這樣了。

Zhu Wang給了我一個小姐的電話

Yan cai Ellis USA Gateway Travel 1601 NW Expressway,Suite 101 Oklahoma  City, OK73118 Phone    (405)842 2919 Fax        (405)842 4014 free tell: 1-800-688-0988

算起來三張票大概快1300，不知道算貴還便宜(yoyo說他買馬航來回497…太強了，不過他是八月中回來)

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附上比價網站

http://som.twbbs.org/klee/study/index.html

http://www.chinesetravelers.com/ticket/ticket3.htm

Kitchen in the air

Hello everyone:

  Today I'll teach you how to roast a full chicken. First of all, you must have a chicken; you can buy it at Smith. After washing it, then let it dry because we want to spread some seasonings on it. There're thousands kinds of seasonings, you can find it on internet, or you can just buy a babecue source; my favorite one is garlic, honey and add some lemon juice. But the point is, nomatter what seasoning and sause is, you must spread butters on the chicken!! That's because butters can prevent water from vaporing too fast; also, evenif you don't want to eat chicken skins, don't cut it off until the roasting chicken is done. 

  Finally, I recommend you warm up the oven ten minutes before roasting the chicken; adjust the oven at 375 'F,  when putting the chicken into the oven, put the chest- side down. Wait for two hours, and enjoy your roasting chicken!!

  When you just bake a leg or chest, not a whole chicken, that's totally the same procedure as before, but I suggest you to use aluminum foil to cover it. Any way, enjoy your chicken!!

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讓我們用阿基師的一句話來作結

-蛋炒飯就是要吃蛋和蔥的香味

遜爆

今天交換代數課Paul有點掛版，信誓但但地講了我的想法，結果下課後就發覺是錯的…心情鬱卒中

寫在這兒當然是希望不要太多人看到…我一直不知道怎麼看待我和前老闆相處的這兩年…一方面我所有的數學都是自已學的…而且還走了很多冤枉路;當我重踏回數論時馬上就知道我當初為什麼會讀得這麼痛苦，因為我從來沒在number field上做過事情;(他不是有開galois cohomology的seminar嗎? 別傻了，他講的是基本中的基本，大概是講給他自已還有不會的人聽的)，那時唯一的差別就是報得好不會被罵，報不好會被罵…一直這樣循環。我學會了什麼，大概就是怎麼樣瞧不起別人，和被別人瞧不起…更嚴重的是被灌輸了很多錯誤的訊息，什麼Taylor好不好其實也不是很清楚，Hacon和Parimala在各自領域的地位是不能比的? 如果是無知那就算了，但一個學者竟然可以這樣睜眼說瞎話，想到我就覺得生氣。

但一方面僅管被利用，他其實對我還是不錯;最少我學到最重要的一件事，就是怎麼樣叫做把書唸好，怎麼樣叫做紮實; 更何況那些下流的話也只能對我這種意志不堅的人有用;其實也怪自已抗壓性不夠，在研二下時我看了很多電視，但那是不得不看，因為胃已經痛到沒法唸書了。至於我如果去跟dragon，去找于靖老師會不會比現在更好，那又是那一件事了。

或許人生就是這樣吧，沒有絕對的對錯，沒有絕對的盟友，讓他知道我現在跟的是Niziol他大概會說在 Utah不跟Hacon是在幹什麼之類的話，但很遺憾，我跟你不一樣，我只做我自已喜歡的事。

Live in isolation

Now I totally understand what I learned before is definitely out of date. Many deep math are discussed, but not in Utah.  

In the begining I'm very angry(for some reason) and upset; now there's nothing about these emotions. All I can do is to have a solid foundation and discuss with my advisor frequntly.

Practice doesn't lie to me.

accident

It's not a car accident, but because of this I lay on the bed in the hospital for one week.

At that time I was a third year undergraduate student in Taiwan. One day in the volleyball class,  the teacher asked us to pass students' serve.  When the student served, although I thought the ball would fly outside the court, I thought I can handle it. Therefore I ran to dig the ball. However, there're another student running toward me so we collided with each other.

At that time I just thought it's painful but nothing else; I thought I'm ok after taking a rest. But When I biked to my doom and went to the restroom, I found it's not urine, it's blood!!

I was so scared and so did my senior; when I lay on the bed of the ambulance, I felt very uncomfortable so I vomited; my senior was very scared and he cried out "he is vomitting blood!! he is vomitting blood!!" I was also very scared , "on my god, I'm vomitting blood". But After about ten minutes, people found it's watermelon juice, not blood; it's red, and you can see some watermelon seed in the red liquid.

Of course I felt very uncomfortable. Ironically, many funny things happened at that time.  The doctor used ultrasonic scan to see what's wrong in my body. Finally we knew my right kidney hurt.  Instead of cheering me up, the doctor said,  "Beautiful, beautiful!! The wound is so conspicuous!! I'll use this picture to teach my students."   And he talked to his student beside him " so we always say patients are our teachers, you should thank him!!" and he took a picture of my broken kidney to me to memorize it. 

At night they wanted to sent me from the emergency ward in  the first floor to the ward in the third floor, but they cannot do this directly. Because at the same day an injured gangster was sent into the hospital, and there are gangsters in the main entrance to protect, or to kill him. Alternatively,  we avoid passing the main entrance because we're afraid to be shot; we passed the office and went to the elevator; eveyone was happy because we were safe!!

Fortunately, my wound is classified as level 3; I'll need surgery if it's level 4 or level 5; but it's still painful. At that time I lay on the bed, it hurt even I just turned into the other side. After one week I left the hospital, one weeks later I can bike; one month later I can run, and now I'm still alive.

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沒想到第一次完整把這件事情寫下來是在我要上台報告的時候;說懷念到不至於，不過那的確是我人生很重要的一件事。

Pavarroti

  Lucica Pavarroti (10/12/1935- 9/6/2007) is my favorite singer in the world. Maybe the most famous thing is at the opera la fille du regiment ( the daughter of regiment)  in 1972, he sung the high C pitch nine times effortlessly ; even for professional tenor, it's a challenge to sing this pitch but Pavarroti can sing it exactly and smoothly. After that, he was called "the king of high C".

Many people say his beautiful voice was given by God, and since he is Italian, he is the master of Italian songs- no one can sing better than him in Italian songs.

  Of course, no one is a perfect singer, neither does Pavarotti. For example, his perfermence on the stage is terrible. Some people laugh him and say the most suitable song for him is the song with high C and all he needs to do is just sing it. As one of the best 3 tenors in the world, many people will compare Pavarotti with Domingo. Pavarotti never sings Deutch or French operas, but Domingo does. And Domingo is not only a good singer, but a good actor. Second, maybe he is the most fattest singer in the world, in fact his weight also affects his performence. On the other hand, the most famous and remarkable activity for Pavarroti is he will hold a perfermance with many pop stars every year, it's called " Pavarroti and his friends".  Compared with singing an opera, it will make more money for him. Three years ago he came to Taiwan for his farwell concert, but it sounds terrible- he's not the greatest singer at that time.

  However, the best way to judge a singer is his/her voice, not his brain or his behavior. Undoubly he is the best singer in Italian songs.  Maybe we can say he's the best singer in the late 20 century; on the other hand, since the golden age of opera had passed, maybe he's the last famous singer in the world.

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http://www.classicalautographs.com/people/opera/placido_domingo/pictures.html

This is my English presentation next week.

紀錄

上星期: 我發現我在台灣的兩年完全是走錯路，現在的我兩個月就做得到… 曾經我以為那是我數學   生涯的開始，沒想到原來根本就是浪費時間

星期一:按約定去找老闆，結果老師沒來…心情很差

星期二:寫信給老闆，結果他還是沒來…有一陣子想不開，後來發現也沒什麼好想不開的

星期三:我總是覺得自己應該得到更好的待遇，但發現自己沒有想像中的好…

星期四:我發現老師其實對我不錯，居然跟我說不好意思，他最近比較忙。只不過他突然問了一句

             " You don't understand abelian variety and elliptic curve, don't you?"

             " Just a little. I mean..."

            " Yes, Yes, ..."

             有時我很想證明我和這兒的人有什麼不一樣，但在真正的專家面前，其實是沒有差別的…

            YP知道我跟Niziol後好像很高興，因為他說這和我原來的背景最像…但我深深地了解到，   那背景根本不是什麼背景，充其量不過是些abstract nonsense而已。

我有很多理由可以塘塞，但這一切全都是因為我個性上的弱點造成的

但就算如此狼狽，我不是一直都是這樣過來的嗎??

Advisor

Sometimes I think I'm a little strange; don't like to talk with others, don't know how to respond other's questions, just pay attention on my work. Now I find I'm not the strangest one: my adviser is much stranger than me.

It depends on your definition whether she's my adviser. In fact I've never worked with her. I think things will be better when we begin to run a seminar this week; maybe she's not strange, she has a clear eye to view the world in a clear way.

Practice will not lie to me

I'm very upset because this department doesn't care about if students are in progress, they just care about students fulfill their duty well. Instead of students, why not find a professional teacher?

All I can do is to convince myself practice will not lie to me, and I will practice on and on, by myself and for myself...